Ask Her If She Wants to Stay a While (Raul)

[RAUL-PHILIPPE NIX]

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Raul nodded, feeling again slightly bad as Massy bit her lip. He didn’t need to say that. Hell, he didn’t need to say anything. No need at all. He was, however, not one to gage everything he said. It played on his conscious for a while, dancing on the bridge of his mind and jumping to what felt like his heart. He wished he would have shut his mouth when he could, but it was too late, and soon the night would turn and Massy would most likely forget about it. It would be a distant memory, as would what he put inside of her. He was sure of it.

And even if that was not the case, what chance was it that she would at all be affected by him or by his power? He hated it. And more importantly, he hated himself for having it. Raul agreed with her statement and closed his eyes, leaning back and using his arms to support himself. His empathy reached out, and he wished, ever so deeply, that he could keep this friendship. Or whatever it was. Acquentincship? Whatever you wanted to call it, he wanted to keep it. Even if they were just partners, it was better than an enemy. He didn’t want another enemy. He wanted someone to give two about him and someone he could give two to also.

Raul then waited for whatever to happen, happen. He watched as Massy closed her eyes and seemed to focus much harder then he was used to seeing someone focus. He stared at her, waiting for something to happen. His heart leapt and waited for something to happen, and when it finally did, he had to hold in a sigh of relief. It was an odd sensation. He felt like a dog who had finally been pet by his master, a young boy who had finally been told he could play. Something, not unlike blissful sleep, or a moment of blissful silence that entered a restless mind. He was unsure of how to describe it, as it was an emotion, or more so, cover of emotion that he had never felt before. His heart felt lighter…His body significantly better. He was no longer a racer that had no common goal. He had stopped in his journey and was now done for a time being. That absolute bliss was something that he had a few moments to get used to.

Then, he did let out a sigh of relief. Only it ended up sounding more like a purr, a sound that simply described elation. He opened his eyes, which had been shut a while ago, and bit his lip. “You have nothing to be sorry about…That was amazing,” he said, blinking and pushing himself up. “Are you okay, though?” he asked, biting his lip and being ready to offer a hand in supporting her, literally or hypothetically, if need be.

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[MASLYNN LIA ROY]

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Massy laughed at the thought of Raul being concerned about her. "I'm fine. I wouldn't have offered to help if I would have ended up exhausting myself like you did. I've never been able to change my own emotions, so I would have just had to take a nap or something." As much as Massy was beginning to like Raul, she was still uncomfortable talking about her empathy. She liked talking about it just about as much as she liked using it. It put her on edge and she tried to avoid the subject.

In order to get away from the topic, Massy tried to steer away from it, even though she recognized that it wasn't fair because she had been more than eager to ask Raul nonstop questions about his own ability. "So, I saw you drawing earlier. Are you any good? Like, I mean, were just bored or is it like a hobby?" Massy hated how incredibly awkward she sounded. Normally, she was a much better conversationalist, but in her haste to change the subject, she didn't exactly pull it off very well. She tried not to grimace and wished she could turn back time. That would be useful.

So once that subject had worn itself out, she tried something else. "What do you like about it here? Personally, I adore the landscape. I'm not so sure about the actual school yet, though." Massy had fallen in love with the island as soon as she'd stepped foot on it, though the school still made her uneasy. Most of the students were really nice and the teachers were supportive (when they weren't leaving their supernaturally inhibited students to go off and do God-knows-what with the science teacher), but she didn't know how it set in with her morals. She hadn't quite formed a proper opinion on it, even though she'd been attending the school for a while. It was strange and alien and it reminded her a bit of Alcatraz with a five-start resort.

She remembered reading, somewhere, that the worst part of the famous prison had been the fact that prisoners could clearly hear the laughter and dancing and chit chat of the San Francisco citizens most days. It must have been torture, Massy thought. But she could understand; the people of Castles were free to stroll around among normal, every day people without anyone telling them anything, but Massy and her schoolmates were too dangerous to do so.

It felt very much like freedom was just out of her grasp sometimes.

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[RAUL-PHILIPPE NIX]

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Raul nodded and kept his head up after she changed the subject, not mentioning it. He didn’t really want to say anything to here about it, as currently he could care less of what the subject really was. He blinked at her question and nodded. “I hope I’m good. I want to do it professionally one day…Roam the world, find the most beautiful scene in the world, draw it out for anyone to see. Fix the wrongs I’ve done with it…Maybe mend with my hand instead of hurt,” he said with a grin. One of his favorite subjects was just this. His drawing. He flipped open a sketchbook and found a picture of his old house. It was simply shaded, nothing special, but he was pretty proud of it.

The house had been two stories, one of which had been the kids area and one which had bee the professional area. Aka, where his mom and dad had spent ninety percent of their time. “I like to think that theirs beauty in everything, even where darkness lurks. It’s strange how the world is sometimes, but it isn’t evil. It’s just life, and we can’t change it at all, can we?” he said, slight smile on his face.

Raul flinched when she asked the next question. “However, I find the beauty here minimal,” he realized he had just caught himself in his own bind. He wished he had a better explanation, but that was all their was to it. He thought their was always beauty, but beauty didn’t always come out in things or places like this. This was hell. This was punishment for his wrongs, in his own eyes. This was a prison that mocked and derided him, destroyed his very self. It was a reminder that he couldn’t control himself and he’d be living with the cost forever. He’d screwed up, he’d known he’d screwed up, and the worst part of it was that no matter what he did, he would never be able to fix it. Only tamper. There was no clean page. This was dirty and ugly.

He hated that. He sighed when he thought about it. However, he could get away from the thought in just a second, if he only willed it. And he often did, however, on a day like this, where darkness loomed on the horizon, he wasn’t sure. “The schools okay, though,” he said, attempting to get away from the strange answer before.

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[MASLYNN LIA ROY]

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The way Raul talked about his art sort of reminded Massy about the way she felt about dancing. She didn't really know much about drawing, honestly. She was terrible at it. But it made her smile to think that everyone had a passion for something like that. She especially loved to find it in the kids that went to the school here, because she thought that with everything going on, it must be nice to have something to focus your energy on. Everyone needs an outlet.

"That's a really nice thing. You should go to Paris for me and send me pictures of what it looks like. I couldn't go myself. But I bet you could draw me into it." Massy laughed, even though the thought of Paris usually made her very sad. Massy, all her life, had lived in a very crowded place. With all those emotions always pressing on her, especially back then when she couldn't control her power as well as she can now, it was difficult, and it made life a bit hard on her. More than anything, though, she would have loved to dance in Paris, but the city is so crowded. She needs to be in a place with very few people, all very simple, so she can have time to heal; to get away from what her power has done to her head.

She pushed the thoughts from her head and examined the drawing of the house. She wished she could sense the emotions attached to objects instead of to people. She would bet anything that it was much less complex. Maybe she was wrong, but she would love to be able to look at a drawing and know exactly what the artist was feeling in that moment. "Beauty in everything. Huh. Well, there's definitely beauty in that." Massy appreciated her talent in dancing, of course, but she couldn't exactly do that anywhere she went. Unlike drawing. Raul could draw on anything anywhere he wanted to. The accessibility of it was something that she yearned for. Maybe she could take up knitting.

Raul's next comment shocked her a bit. It wasn't so much the comment. It was more so the hostility in his tone. She wasn't expecting the sudden drop in climate. She hadn't spoken yet when he said that the school was okay. She blinked a few times, frowned. "I take it you don't like it here." Massy herself wasn't sure what she thought about the place, but she didn't know there were students that thought so negatively of it. She supposed she should have guessed as much, though.

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[RAUL-PHILIPPE NIX]

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I'm not in control

Raul smiled and flipped it open to a few pages, but felt his heart tug when she mentioned that she couldn’t go. “It’d be hard, wouldn’t it?” he asked, his voice gentle. He wanted to say something else, maybe a reassuring gesture, but he couldn’t figure out anything. “My ma always said it was a dirty place anyways. She went there when she was young on a scholarship or something. She said she couldn’t stand it because of how it looked…I don’t know though. Most of those pictures are pretty awesome that I’ve seen. Maybe it’s just all in perspective, eh?” he said in a light tone. It was funny how much he was talking. Raul wasn’t typically a talker. During anything in his life, he’d never been a talker. And now, here he was, what felt like a million miles from home, and he was talking to someone who would otherwise be a complete stranger. It felt strange, like something unknown. However, it felt good.

Raul laughed and blushed slightly. “Thanks! I did it on the way here, actually. I was trying to keep my mind occupied,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. It was rough, sure, but he liked to think that it was okay. As an artist, he was critical of himself, and he supposed that he didn’t need to be for once. He was slightly embarrassed, but not horribly. It didn’t kill him to be here talking about all of this. He loved this.

But then her question caught him off guard once more, and he attempted to hide a scowl. Did he not like this place? It was a prison in his own eyes. He was not allowed to see his family, or more importantly, his sister. He was trapped, because he had been as good as disowned. Nix was not a name he would keep when he left here. Raul licked his lips and bowed his head. ”I don’t. I believe myself a danger, and I would love to learn how to control, but not in a way sent against my will. I am not a dog. I do not need to fallow orders. I am not a criminal. I’m close, but I’m not. I do not deserve to be locked away like a rabid dog. Prisoners get an education too, and learn how to function in society. That’s what their treating us as, aren’t they?” he asked, sighing and then biting his lip. ”I apologize. I have too strong of feelings most times.”

TAGGED: Maslyn| WORDS: | OOC:

[MASLYNN LIA ROY]

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Massy smiled, and let the sad thoughts inch their way back into the darker recesses of her mind. She could talk about it, and not feel it. At leas, she hoped she could. "Maybe it is," she said with a shrug. Really, Massy could not have cared in the least how dirty anyone thought the city was. She could put up with a little grime. There was a certain sort of magnetism, though . . . in the people, and the energy, and the art. There was a certain allure to the city that had Massy picturing herself there, dancing for a crowd full of the nonsensically tasteful French.

But that was all a day dream, better left alone to fester in her mind.

"Did you teach yourself to draw? Or . . . Well, I suppose you either can or you can't, with drawing." It had cost a lot of hard work for Maslynn to get as good as she had at dancing, which is not to say that there wasn't any natural talent, because anyone with sense would know that dancing, for one, is an art that more or less requires talent. She had spent more of her time, when she started this school, in a dance studio than she had in her own home. She hadn't really seen it as work, though. She had enjoyed every second of it.

Massy listened to him speak, and her stomach began to churn as she recalled the day her father, because of her, shot himself. Suddenly, she wanted to be anywhere but this gymnasium. Anywhere but in a class where she had to practice her power. Anywhere but talking to Raul, who could not possibly know why his words would upset her as much as they inevitably would. She pressed a hand to her stomach and flashed a shaky smile. She didn't understand how she felt, but she could physically feel it. That combined with her own guilt was making her a bit weak. She should be a prisoner. She was dangerous. There was a good reason to be here. "I'm sorry you feel that way," was all she said, though. Even to her it sounded cold and noncommittal.

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[RAUL-PHILIPPE NIX]

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I'm not in control

Raul laughed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have an opinion on the matter,” he said, smiling slightly. Tilting his head, he wondered softly if he should secure himself and shut his mouth. He had no idea what he was doing and felt himself thinking that he would soon be digging himself into a deep hole if he didn’t pick up his act. He bit his lip and sighed again. “Sorry. It wasn’t my intention to offend you at all,” he said, speaking calmly and hesitantly. He sounded like a junior high boy, and took a deep breath in to try to control his feelings as they built up inside of himself.

Raul chuckled. “Yes. My sister always wanted beautiful scenery, and so we’d imagine places and I’d think them or sketch them. I didn’t feel comfortable giving her mind an image all the time. I only used it if she was really sad or sick. I sucked in the beginning. And then I just practiced and got better,” Talking about all of this made him happy in a way that was hard to explain. He wanted to tell Maslyn all about how he and his sister had spent days at a time thinking of mystical places and drawing them out. He wanted to explain his sisters sweat expression when she saw them and yelped in joy. He wanted to explain being away from his father for just a moments time and not having to smell the whisky on his fathers breath.

When she started to look queasy, Raul’s smile faltered. Had he said something wrong? He looked upon her closely and then got up, wanting to steady her but unsure how. They didn’t know each other well enough that he could lay a hand, even in comfort. “Are you…Alright, Maslyn? I didn’t mean that in a way of bad measure.” he wanted to explain why this place felt like a prison, because that was what it was to him. He had tortured his sister through pain and imagery, and it tortured him most days. This was hell to him. How could he tell her that. “It was not my intention,” he said, emphasizing his words.

TAGGED: Massy| WORDS: 363 | OOC: notes